When a man’s supposed “reason for living” is taken away he morphs into an entirely different creature. Yes, much is lost within himself. But what was lost, was so deep, so intrinsic to his nature that it becomes paramount this void is filled. He has nothing left to fill it with but pain, grief, anxiety. …
Tag Archives: Addiction
F U A.N.X.I.E.T.Y.
It takes so much energy to be nervous all the time. Its just a constant, energy-draining battle that seems uphill. Im tired. Tired of fighting. It seems like everything in my life i fight for, and I’m always fighting myself. Tasks that are small and normal to the average person, tasks that they do everyday …
Shackled Hope
I swallow the small blue pill, innocently enough seeking relief from the screaming shadows. Yes, the medicine does provide me temporary relief from the darkness, but it also shackles me to it. Imagine that- I am shackled, in every way to this pill. This little pill i take 3 times a day. If i wake …
Soda, Crackers, & Coping Mechanisms
Like thunder roaring i awaken in in instant, dazed and on extremely high alert. My heart is beating out of my chest, I am sweating, My anxiety is so bad i start feeling like I’m physically caught in the endless loop i was in a few weeks ago when i had my episode. My stomach …
Love in the Methadone Line
Lets take a Walk….
AM Keyboard Regurgitations
The lead pipe of reasoning swings up and smacks me across the head, sending me into spells of some pretty strong dizziness. I feel like a useless worm. hell, not even a worm, they serve a purpose. Trying to get this move done while battling my mental illness, a physical illness, and all the while …
Embers do more than Glow…
Like a wave crashing into a jetty and then being dispersed into smaller particles of water several emotions slam into me. And like the wave they hit so hard they are broken up into smaller fragments, some even carried away with the wind. Thats not usual, but a much appreciated respite. No matter what though, …
Wrangling The Beast
Beast?…
2 Doctors & a Garbage Truck
Enter at your own risk
My Hope is (a) Mine
Not Much Light….
Fit To Be Unfit 