LiFevil

Well fast-forward a few weeks since my last post where i described how ecstatic i was to be shooting photos and blogging again. About a week ago my Camera, Wireless Flash, and Ranger Tripod were stolen. That was a hard hit. I usually never leave the house without my camera so it figures the time i do i get robbed. The theif came in through one of my bedroom windows, i have 2. Months and months ago i caught someone trying to break in and realized that they have been breaking in on a regular basis, mostly stealing my medicine. So i poked around and realized the lock on my window was broken. I immediately screwed it shut. You would have to break it to “break in” my home. The other window in my room i never considered a threat because the lock worked fine (and the piece of wood i had jammed in there). But after my Camera was stolen i checked both windows. The window that is screwed shut was fine, bulletproof almost. The problem is that the thief broke the lock on my other window, thats how they got in. So that window is now screwed shut just like the other one. The only difference is now im down a camera, i do not own any anymore. I have loved photography for so long and it has always been such a great outlet for me that it cannot be understated. Unfortunately right now life for me is a bit difficult. I have no money and im learning how to deal with my illness, which is extremely taxing to say the least. I have my fingers crossed that maybe ill somehow get a camera sooner rather than later. But all i can do is to keep moving forward. Everyday feels wierd because i always notice photo ops and im used to just grabbing my camera and clicking away. But anyway, ill quit the bitching. Other than being a camera-less photographer i am not doing so bad. I have more hope now than i have had in years, and its all because i have been talking to my daughter. Her mother is trying as hard as she can to shut me out of my daughters life and “make her forget you” (mother’s words). Naturally shes tough (she is my daughter) so she is trying to stay in touch with me too, everyday. Unfortunately the phone calls are on speaker phone so if i say something the mother doesnt agree with then the call ends. And after about 3 calls she now limits them to 5 minutes. But after what she told me lastnight about how her goal is to keep my daughter out of my life and have her forget all about me (she actually said those words, i have it in text) im not so sure i will even get to talk to my beautiful girl. Atleast not for awhile. Its evil. My daughter absolutely Loves talking to me, its good for her. Her mother is going to cut that out because she doesnt want me in my daughters life. I can tell you one thing with absolution- My daughter will NEVER forget me. And because of the way her mother is i knew eventually this would happen. So i told my daughter that everytime she thinks about me im thinking about her too at the same time. She told me she thinks about me everyday and wishes i lived with her. I could go on and on but its safe to say its been an interesting week with massive peaks and valleys. Heres to the Peaks, and the knowledge gained in the valleys-